Quote of the Day

We are getting to the time of year when everyone needs a break. The kids want to play and the teachers want to sleep. Spring break is coming. Ours isn’t until the end of April, although my daughters’ is next week. Yes, I will be a bit tortured, but I know that my students will complete their work much stronger before spring break rather than after. I can do it…..and so can you.


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Grading – UGH!!!!

I just completed grades for the third quarter. This is an exhausting and mind numbing job. I worry over every aspect of giving grades. I try to be completely objective and then I see the child’s face in my mind. I start thinking – always a problem. I think of Diana who tried so hard this quarter, but couldn’t quite grasp the vocabulary and of Jose who did so well on assessments, but his responses to literature weren’t so insightful. Did I do enough to really grasp their abilities and push them to where they needed to go? Am I truly assessing their abilities or am I skimming the surface? Will my grade build their confidence or will it shut them down? Too much to consider. Too much in the balance. I want to give them the grade they deserve based on their abilities and their work ethic. I don’t want to penalize them for driving me crazy, never shutting up, or even for being lazy. Points aren’t enough, but they certainly help. I just can’t turn a blind eye to all the other factors of what makes them who they are as my students. Each of them are special and unique in their own way. Why can’t they all be straight “A” students? It would be so much easier.


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So tired, exhaustion has crept through my body settling into my bones, I just want to go to bed; I can’t wait to climb in and fall into a deep sleep. But, that is when it happens, the demons start sneaking their way in, the worrying begins. Will she be okay? Is she going to come to school tomorrow? Will she end up on drugs, hanging with the wrong crowd, looking for love and belonging with all the others who are also angry, neglected, and seeking vengeance on their own lives, by criminally preying on society? Why shouldn’t they feel that way, who cares, what great things lie ahead for them? Roll over, toss and turn, stop; it is only a dream, my subconscious, let it go, pray a quick prayer, fall back to sleep, until it happens again. It is okay, tomorrow is another day, just keep doing all you can for each child. It will matter. Go to sleep. It will be alright.


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As a mother I cannot help it, I worry.  I worry if my sons will find kind, loving wives who will appreciate them, that there will not be careers that they are passionate about, I worry that there will be no good jobs that allow them to support themselves, I worry that they will have to move far away and I won’t get to see them daily, I worry about their health, faith, friends, decisions, etc…isn’t that what a mother does? Apparently, some mothers do not.  I worry about your child sitting in my class with an emptiness so apparent that I almost trip over it as I walk by him or her…can you see it? I guess not, you put it there. Maybe it is because the hollow shell of yourself can’t be a mother. I am sorry, it is sad, I wish I could help you, but I am here to help your daughter or son, your fragile lost child that’s hoping that someone sees their potential, their light, their gifts, even if it is just surviving another empty day.

Amy


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