Stop Tearing Each Other Apart, Please!

Right now it feels as if the world is spiraling out of control. Everyone has an opinion about everything, whether they have accurate knowledge on the subject or not. I have been trying to understand some of the reasons for this discourse, maybe you will disagree, but here are my thoughts.

When I grew up, we were expected to work hard, listen to our parents and teachers, treat others how we wanted to be treated, and be respectful. Unfortunately, our current society’s pendulum has swung to the side of, what’s in it for me? Now, I am not saying that some self care isn’t important, but it seems to have gotten out of hand.

My mother never got a break, a day off, a relaxing day at a spa or a girls’ vacation, ever. Of course she could have used a reprieve from the monotony of raising 6 kids with little financial resources. My father never went on golf outings or fishing trips with the guys for the weekend either. It just wasn’t common in our home or even in our city where we were. We worked hard, loved America, loved our families, loved God, and put others needs in front of ours.

People said that it was okay to think of yourselfokay to put yourself first, okay to ask for what you needed. Of course this concept was more than okay, everyone needed a little re-setting of the mind and soul. The problem was that society took this idea and became self-absorbed. People craved attention and posessions. Technology and social media helped to self promote and angrily voice opinions. The original theory was a good one, but what has come of it, not so much.

As an educator, my hands are tied in many situations. I see parents bullying teachers and the system, Yes, I said it, bullying. They complain about everything. They believe that their child is never wrong, and they do not allow their child to be held responsible for their actions. Hello, welcome to life people! Believe me, I let a lot go in my classroom, but if you forget your homework and get a “missing” it is just a reminder to be more conscientious next time. It is to teach you responsibility, that’s it!

What do parents do instead? They say, you can’t do this to my child, they couldn’t help it, they had practice or forgot their book at school, etc. so the dreaded “missing” is unfair. They say things like, this is hurting my childthis is causing harm to my child. No, sorry to say, you are hurting your child. Allow them to take ownership and learn, allow them to grow from each experience, please.

Educators spend a lot of time and money getting their degrees. They continue their education, paying for it out of their own pockets, and participate in professional development during the school year. Educators plan exciting lessons, grade tests, spend hours on report card comments about each child, and use their own money for supplies. They are not in this field to write up your child and get him/her in trouble. (Okaythere are some of “those” teachers who have a fixed mindset, I know).

The point, accountability, responsibility, and respect for others are missing. We have to stop blaming others and reconnect with each other as human beings. Parents, please talk to your children, listen and pay attention to them, don’t overindulge them. Instead, empower them to advocate for themselves. We need to build character, not tear down each other. 


  1. Celeste

    Beautifully said!

  2. Peter Wiethe

    I agree with you Amy. False compassion comes when there is no more respect or acceptance that there are objective moral norms.unaccountability & irresponsibly go hand in hand. Keep doing what you do and maybe parents and children will start to”get it”.

  3. Marge wiethe

    Its right on target. That’s how it was and that was the right way.your assess is so true. I’m not sure how it got this way. You can’t shield your children from the world. They have to learn through experience and accepting responsibility for what they do or what they havent done right.

  4. This post is right on, Amy. I couldn’t have said it any better myself. As you know, I strongly believe the research on both overindulgence as a parenting practice, and the lack of conscience development go hand in hand. We are also witnessing great amounts of depression among young people and adults alike. In fact, according to NIH, the leading cause of disability in the world will be depression as it has been in our country for more than 10 years.
    As Foster Cline said in the 60’s, “the more consumeristic a society becomes, the more violence they will witness in their children”.
    People are so concerned with working, and getting, they forget how important it is to spend time with their children just being. When you do that, you will get to know your children and be comfortable with building their characters.
    God bless you Amy for putting all of this out there and giving me an opportunity to contribute as well.
    Keep up the great work and thank you for all you do for children and families!


    • Thank you Janice. It is time to put family, faith, and common sense back in the world. We are creating a society of “never enough” so no wonder children and adults feel inadequate. It is not what you have, it is who you are and what you do with your God given gits that should make you happy and content. I do not see much contentment in the world, it is sad.

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